I have really been disapointed by my blog "Beautful Dee's"...it seem's like I dont have anything to offer...Maybe I will have a contest to have somone help me make a better blog...I go on other blog's and some blog's dont have as many follower's as I do but have alot more comment's....I am confused, some of my old blog friend's dont drop by ever..OUCH!!!! It really hurt's because I had become close to alot of them...or at least thought I had....my councelor tell's me to reach out get friend's because I am lonely.
Maybe I should just put a band-aid on it and stop licking my wound's.
Do friend's really care???
My loneliness is caused by a broken heart!!!
I try so hard to be happy!!!
So afraid to open up and lose any one I have in my life.....trying to make sense of my 49 year's of existance.....is there an explanation????
Oh dear I must be boring all of you by now (NO ONE) because really who care's???
My councelor tell's me there is a beautiful woman inside of me and much much more...I really wonder...for the first time in my life I am at a stand still and dont want to feel anymore pain.
Are we really our brother's keeper's? Or is this an adage like so many thing's are as adults.
If we pretend life is grand every day and put on a graceful display....maybe no one will know our true pain that goes on and on forever. I have alway's tried so hard to be okay and fit in...but it seem's to me that it really doesnt matter at all to anyone, I really have been so hurt in my life that I reach out for friendship, I pray to find a purpose in my existance before I am 55, if I make it.
