Friday, February 4, 2011

I have really been disapointed by my blog "Beautful Dee's"...it seem's like I dont have anything to offer...Maybe I will have a contest to have somone help me make a better blog...I go on other blog's and some blog's dont have as many follower's as I do but have alot more comment's....I am confused, some of my old blog friend's dont drop by ever..OUCH!!!! It really hurt's because I had become close to alot of them...or at least thought I had....my councelor tell's me to reach out get friend's because I am lonely.

Maybe I should just put a band-aid on it and stop licking my wound's.
Do friend's really care???
My loneliness is caused by a broken heart!!!
I try so hard to be happy!!!
So afraid to open up and lose any one I have in my life.....trying to make sense of my 49 year's of existance.....is there an explanation????

Oh dear I must be boring all of you by now (NO ONE) because really who care's???
My councelor tell's me there is a beautiful woman inside of me and much much more...I really wonder...for the first time in my life I am at a stand still and dont want to feel anymore pain.
Are we really our brother's keeper's? Or is this an adage like so many thing's are as adults.
If we pretend life is grand every day and put on a graceful display....maybe no one will know our true pain that goes on and on forever. I have alway's tried so hard to be okay and fit in...but it seem's to me that it really doesnt matter at all to anyone, I really have been so hurt in my life that I reach out for friendship, I pray to find a purpose in my existance before I am 55, if I make it.

6 comments:

  1. Oh Debbie, I'll be 53 in April and still don't know what the heck I'm doing!! Even more so as I only have one child left at home and am trying to figure out what to do when she's gone!!!
    I think that some of us just know and some don't. So we should just go with it, don't ya think!
    As for comments on your blog, do you regularly comment on other? That seems to be important!
    Anyway you have a new follower, and thank you for stopping by my place and following!
    Love Di ♥

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  2. Hi lovely lady did you get my Email? I love your shory's and photos are so sweet !!I HOPE you have a Great day ~~I will always be your friend !!! Im following your Blog now, see if you can get back to me about the Email OK.
    xxoo Diane

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  3. I know what you mean; I'm not sure what it takes to get bloggers to stop by often, but I will work on stopping by yours and maybe we can build a good network of blogger friends:-0 Warm Regards

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  4. Thank you for commenting on my blog alltheproofineed.blogspot.com. I really appreciate it. And don't worry about your commenters. They will come when they do, at least you are sharing your stories, your way. I have 125 followers and I only hear from about 5 of them on a monthly basis. I've learned to do me and only me :) And don't worry, I'm lonely too. I have no friends my age (22) and sit at home with a 2 year old all day. We all get a little lonely at times. Put a bandaid on in and move on :)

    I'm your newest follower. Have a great night.
    Thank you for following my blog,
    Kristen M.

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  5. What a wonderful tribute to your mom. It's my first visit to your blog ... and I have to tell you that it put tears in my eyes as I could feel the love you have for your mom. How wonderful she must be to have a loving and caring daughter like you! Sending warm wishes! Susanne

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